Hi everyone!
Today I'm gonna present you a before and after of a summary of a video by Jonathan Jarvis about the Credit Crisis that I wrote.
Here is my first version (teacher's corrections included):
(Sorry for the bad quality - the camera of my smartphone sucks :/)
and now my second, corrected version:
First of all, I forgot to mention the source of information which is a rather crucial mistake. Then most of my mistakes are simply careless ones that I could have easily avoided if I had proofread my homework. Another thing that I still have problems with is register, especially formal register. Somehow I always end up using rather informal words and expressions, so I need to get a feeling for more formal ones.
Anyway, these are the things that I still need to work on to improve my homework and writing in general.
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